WINSTON'S THEORY OF BISCUITIVITY

Hi all

Thanks to everybody who sent me a birthday card recently on my 12th birthday. Our postman Ant put my cards on top of the post, because he said they were the most important! Good to know that my human training is spreading further afield. Talking of which, I’ve just managed to introduce some new rules into the shop. Previously, I was allowed a treat when I came down to the shop in the morning. My new rules, which everyone has acceded to, now stipulate – one in the morning, one whenever I go out and come back in (which oddly seems to be more often than it used to be!), and one each time that the kettle is switched on. It isn’t exactly a quantum leap, but it took me a while to convince Mum that kettle = biscuit². Einstein didn’t cover this theory. I call it Winston’s Theory of Biscuitivity. Any Nobel Prize should be mailed directly to Audlem Mill.

Back to the Mill. Great excitement at the delivery the other day of Silk Tops, Wool Tops, inspiration packs and experimentation packs. To the uninitiated, this involves lots of threads and wool and silk, in every colour, for felting, gimps and ribbons – all sorts of stitching stuff. Dad and I had to rush over to Stoke-on-Trent today to get some new shop fittings, just so Mum can display it properly. Good fun cruising with Dad in the car, but I was anxious in case I missed anybody in the shop. I don’t like to think that Mum can manage without my help.

Audlem has its Festival of Transport this coming weekend. There will be about 300 vehicles on the playing field, just above the Mill. Obviously, this means lots more people in the shop to see me, so I can’t wait. Also, Mum and Dad are hosting the annual barbeque for historical boat owners (or should that be owners of historical boats? – perhaps or perhaps not). Sadly there won’t be many boats this year, because the date had to be changed so it wouldn’t clash with the World Cup, so many of the boats will be at events elsewhere. What a shame – more burgers and sausages for me then. It would be a shame to let the food go to waste.

As for the World Cup, did you see our poor goalkeeper? Football is the only programme I watch on television. Mum always laughs at me because I sit in front of the TV with my football. I could teach them a thing or two, given half a chance. My dribbling skills are legendary, but I haven’t mastered getting any noise out of the vuvusela yet. We have got didgeridoos in the shop – they’re similar.

Anyway, got to go now … places to sniff and people to do … !